tirsdendreams: (cray-zee)
(This is apparently what happens after I spend 3+ hours on Skype talking to someone I met via Cry's video game livestreams, before going to bed. That someone would be Hiro, who you will be seeing here shortly. O.o )


I was playing some kind of coop multiplayer Amnesia-like game with Hiro via both the game client and chatting with Skype, except that instead of normal Amnesia: The Dark Descent with its medieval castle interior, the concept was to run around a modern day mental hospital plagued with monsters (the zombie ones from the Amnesia game) and avoid being caught by them or the regular staff while looking for books. Hiro's character was an Asian boy in his early teens and I was a girl with long-ish blonde hair; I think I'd gone with Alice for my character's name.

The building's layout was bizarre for an actual hospital. Hallways were ridiculously skinny, had maze-like branches all over the place and interconnected rooms, and you couldn't do anything about the lights that were always on. Everything was painted white, so there was no real chance of hiding anywhere in the open. Not only would the monsters cause you to pass out if they caught you, but doctors and nurses also wandered the hall and any of them including the monsters catching you meant waking back up in your room. I can't remember if the rooms were locked by default, I just remember it being so much backtracking that you didn't want to get caught, plus there was a feeling of impending doom like something bad was going to happen if you couldn't escape the place in time.

The point of the books was that they somehow unlocked doors. The books were hardcover, red, and had gold filigree designs on the covers that were all the same. If I remember right, they all had a four digit number on the first page while the rest of the pages were blank, which had to do with how they opened the doors. Some books were fakes and only the right ones would actually open a door at all, and only the door they were meant to. The books could be found in closets or refrigerators that were otherwise empty of anything else, and if you had one that worked with you when you opened the right door, the door would just automatically unlock itself.

I remember being in a small room that had a fridge and two closets, and Hiro took a book out of the fridge while I grabbed one from a closet. At this point it was becoming real as opposed to a video game, although I still had some odd fuzzy concept of an inventory system so that I wasn't literally carrying the books around (I had several by now), they just vanished but I still "had them." I remember hearing a monster grumbling out in the hall right at that moment. The hall went around the room outside past two different doors on opposite ends. Hiro told me to go one way and he'd go the other and distract the monster.

I didn't like this idea but he was already out the one door so I ran through the other. I realized somehow that he'd been caught by the staff and I kept running, as for some reason they were assuming Hiro was the only patient not in his room. He'd bought me some time, but now I had to figure out how to put it to good use and if I stayed in the halls I still ran the risk of getting caught at random. I found a nurse's bathroom and hid under the sink. The idea was to burn some time so the staff would get complacent and maybe enough would go to sleep after-hours so I could finally escape.

Logic really started falling apart at this point (apparently if you stay in one place in a dream for too long, small constant changes start building up into ridiculousness). What started as a long counter with sinks in it and one big cupboard area underneath with several doors (my hiding spot was as far into the corner opposite the entry door by the far end of the sinks as possible), slowly turned into just a counter without the cupboard underneath, and then finally the counter had some kind of tablecloth which hid me better. I remember spending a lot of time trying to make sure I was as squeezed into the corner as it got, and that the white dress I was wearing was staying hidden with me instead of flared out partly so it was visible from beyond the counter.

This whole time I was dreading that someone would actually come into the bathroom, and yes, eventually a nurse and a nurse's assistant walked in, both women. For some reason, they had a bunch of dirty dishes on a two-tiered rolling metal cart. The assistant started shoving dishes under the counter and it was obvious she could see me, but I sat there and thought "You can't see me, you can't see me," over and over. At this point I vaguely understood that I was in a dream and that logic had broken enough she shouldn't have seen me right off the bat.

She didn't say anything to her superior who was blathering on about various gossip and directions for the next shift or something, and I realized it wasn't because I was desperately trying to insist in my head that she couldn't see me. The assistant wasn't evil, and knew this place was way more than just some honest asylum. She kept glancing at me but only crammed more dishes under the counter (I could hardly move for all the dishes). Suddenly the nurse in charge started saying really crazy things, like she was hallucinating and what she saw was no longer what anyone else in the room saw. The nurse stood still and started staring off at nothing as what she was saying rambled to a halt, and the assistant looked at me and mouthed the word, "Run."

I managed to extricate myself from the dishes without making any noise and ran out of the bathroom, not noticed at all by the crazy spaced-out nurse. I found a new hallway that led to a large closet, and inside the closet was a whole lot of hanging lab coats. I couldn't see the back of the closet, so I kept pushing through and the lab coats gave way to winter jackets and I found myself suddenly breaking out of a very thick display of such coats in a clothing store at a shopping mall.

There were tables just beyond, possibly for a cafe in this same store (logic, what is this concept? we don't do logic in dreams). There were randomly dream created family members there who recognized me and greeted me only like it was any old day, not like I'd been locked away in the funny farm. They didn't know, and I myself wasn't even sure how I'd gotten locked up there now. While they asked me mundane questions I said something to the effect of, "Listen, I've just escaped from a mental asylum up there on the hill," and pointed off in the general direction of where the hospital was (you couldn't see it from inside the mall).

They were all like, "Yeah right, very cute ha ha," and I said, "No, I'm serious, and I'm not even sure that I'm really out of there at all." I had a bad feeling that I was still somewhere in the asylum while hallucinating what I was seeing now, or somehow had my "spirit" split between the places and maybe I could actually tell these people something useful before waking back up in the asylum. I just hoped I was still hidden somewhere instead of stuck in my room again. I remember one dark-haired guy who was a random family friend looking off in the general direction of the hospital, he was starting to be convinced there was more to this.

Then I woke up.

tirsdendreams: (redefinition of me)
(Definitely inspired by The Backwater Gospel, one heck of an epic and gory animation.)

I was my albino character Aster, arriving in an old west town. I remember being in the hotel lobby, a small affair, and arranging a room for the night. There was some kind of festival going on just outside of town for a week or two, and that was why I was there. I was wearing a white kimono and there was another guest nearby just hanging around. It was obvious he found me attractive... and he wasn't mistaking me for a girl, either.

I paid with a gold coin, which amazed the proprietor who was quite happy to receive it. Meanwhile, I learned from the handsome stranger that he was also in town for the festival. He offered to help me with my bags, even though there was a hotel staffmember who could have been summoned. I accepted, thinking this might be an even more interesting trip than I'd first thought.

Then I woke up, dammit.

tirsdendreams: (leave it all behind)
There was a family with a mother and two kids, one being a teenage boy and the other a preteen girl. They were on vacation from up north and arriving at a desert hotel in Texas; the place was set up like a bunch of disconnected buildings over a wide area. It was still afternoon, very hot and sunny.

The hotel office was the first building as the mother pulled the car past it, but there was no obvious parking lot right there. She said she'd find it and went to the left along the road, there were more buildings and stuff to the right. They passed a pool, and the son mentioned it though he also said perhaps the water wasn't so promising after all, as from the angle he was looking at it, it looked like it might have been a murky green. It was hard to tell, though, and there was another bigger pool after that with even less-promising water.

The further they went, the more obvious it was they were getting too far away, and the son mentioned this but the mother refused to go back, still convinced the parking lot was out here somewhere. He said it was too far to walk back, and then as they seemed to leave the complex entirely and approach a large warehouse and other buildings, he said, "Look, we're in a whole other township now!"

The mother pulled over and the son got out, tired of dealing with the stupidity. He knew where the hotel office was, even if it was quite a walk back. There was a place to get drinks and he went inside, asking the guy behind the counter how much a Cherry Coke was. On the answer, the teenager put a coin on the counter and said, "I'll take 20, then."

The coin had the denomination "10000" on one side, along with the word "Canada", and on the other side it had the word "GOLD". The guy behind the bar stayed where he was, leaning up against another counter along the back wall; he could see the coin from there.

Some older guy chuckled at the kid and said, "That's worth about two bucks, son."

It still wasn't gonna fly even for a soda, so the kid finally dug a quarter out of his pocket, which was apparently the price of the drink. Still the guy behind the bar didn't move, and the teen asked why that wasn't enough.

"Sales tax."

"Geez, you guys charge sales tax on food here?" Digging around in his pocket again, he pulled out a penny and added it, and he really didn't have any more so he was about to ask how much sales tax could possibly be on a quarter.

A woman came up, she was probably late 20's at least and pretty, with short blonde hair and wearing jeans and a denim leather jacket over a t-shirt of some sort. She added random coins to the little pile and told the guy behind the counter to keep the change. The kid couldn't believe someone so pretty was helping him out, and then it seemed she wanted to actually sit by him at the counter and talk to him.

Now there seemed to be some kind of plot developing, to do with the woman needing to get some information out of the kid. Meanwhile about all he was thinking was that if this kept up and she stuck around even when he would have to walk back to the hotel eventually, he was suddenly glad it was a very long walk back. In the meantime, the soda came in bottles as she had also ordered a regular Coke for herself, and it seemed to keep nicely cold even when they refilled the glasses later.

I had the visuals of the glasses being refilled, but made a comment to someone nearby as if I were watching a movie. I said I could really go for a rootbeer float, regular flavor (the concept of Cherry Coke versus regular Coke was confusing things). I don't know who it was I was talking to, I was still paying attention to the... movie?

Then I woke up.

tirsdendreams: (cray-zee)
(One of the stranger real-life issues I've been dealing with lately is squirrels in the AC/heater vents of the apartment I'm currently living in. It is a thoroughly retarded problem... which is now making its way into my sleep, apparently.)

The room(s) were completely wrong in the dream, but I realized suddenly that I could see the squirrels inside a floor vent (in reality, all the vents are in the ceiling or close to it) and they were creeping me out. I banged against the vent with a pencil or something, and yelled at the squirrels and they scampered off. Then I noticed something else in there... a cat? I decided to get a screwdriver and take the cover off the vent.

As I was doing that, I noticed something else in there as well, further back. A dog. Mind you, logic was breaking down so badly by this point that the inside of the vent area was pretty large. But anyways, once the cover was off the cat and its two kittens that had also been hiding in there ventured out, I called to the dog. It was a white lab and still had a collar and even a leash on, so I figured someone was probably looking for it. The dog was fairly friendly and came when called, and I managed to read the name on the collar's tag: Cal. It was in really pretty cursive writing too, etched into the gold tag.

The mother cat had a collar as well, a strange one with no visible clasp made of worn brown leather with burned-in patterns, but I saw on it the name "TOTO" repeated at various points along the collar. Candy the cat was suddenly there randomly, and was curious about the kittens as she's been fixed most of her life. The cats seemed to be getting along okay, and I was more worried about the dog. I went out of the room for the moment, leaving the animals behind, and asked my kid sister (who was apparently around wherever the heck this was) to get a dish of cat food as it was the best thing we had for the moment.

I went back into the room to get the dog to come with me outside, and he was really happy to see me again. I was trying to think of how I was going to tie him up outside with the leash he already had on...

Then I woke up.

tirsdendreams: (found my way)
I only remember the end of this dream. It was some sort of Legend-of-Zelda-becomes-real-life thing. I was actually in the game. I knew I was supposed to go one way through this (random) town to do a quest, but then I realized that I could really do anything I wanted to up to a point. (Sort of like in Zelda 64, as a kid you can do a whole bunch of stuff ahead of time if you don't mind the stupid owl telling you constantly you don't know where you're going.)

So I went another way, into an area that would load into a couple other places I wasn't really supposed to go yet. There was one big crystal rock rolling around (maybe a couple feet in diameter, and it was shaped more like a cylinder than anything) and two smaller (one-foot) brown rocks rolling around. They rolled in a specific path, and I knew it'd hurt to get hit by them.

I managed to get the big rock to slam into a wall, breaking away a weaker section of... rock. (Yes, lots of rock.) This was on the side of a straight, man-made wall, and where the stuff-in-the-way had been was now a typical Zelda64 crawl space. I was going to go through it, but the crystal rock came back again and I knew I needed to wait to time it all better.

The rock hit the wall hard and was suddenly one of those walking-falling-wall things from Mario64. It fell over, and it had broken something else nearby that spawned what probably should have been a rupee, but was instead a large golden diamond-shaped gem (like, at least six inches across). Being as this was a quasi-computer game, the gold money-gem was visible on the ground sticking part-way through the wall monster (yay polygon game-glitches). I put my hand down while the wall-thing was still stunned, and "picked up" the gem by touching it. The gem disappeared and was no doubt added to my current money total.

So I was thinking I'd better move my butt and go through the crawl space but...

Then I woke up.
tirsdendreams: (nightmaire)
I was a woman character who was leaving on her honeymoon, and two generic somewhat-elderly parents were saying goodbye to me and my new husband. I'm not sure if they were my parents or his, but either way we were part of a very rich family. Then some other part of the family showed up to show off their new baby. They'd even brought the doting grandparents of the child too. The (my?) father said to the other parents/grandparents of the happy newborn that they had really rotten timing. And it did seem to me like they'd shown up to try and trump our happy event with theirs. There was an older brother of the baby, much older, he looked like Kyle from The Pretender (and for the duration of the dream, he was more or less like him in every way, except not yet a convicted murder and not a product of a secret organization; his name was Kyle in the dream). He kissed the baby, he was sort of ignoring everybody else's created drama.

I became Kyle, and was playing with the baby in a room somewhere in the house after the bride and groom had left. Suddenly the baby made this expression of horrible pain, and it put its little hands to its head. (I think it was a boy, but it felt like an "it" to Kyle-me.) I yelled for my grandfather to come over (not the same guy as possible-father-of-the-bride), but when he arrived the baby was fine again. He asked me what had happened, and I was finding it hard to describe as the image of the baby's face stayed in my mind, distacting me. But I managed to say, "It looked like it was experiencing some sort of... migraine pain." The grandfather didn't believe me for a moment until the baby did it again.

This time I could feel what the baby was feeling and I realized the baby had psychic powers or something. The grandfather believed this as well and I'm not sure what happened next (grandfather sent me away?) but the next part of the dream was me wandering around outside the house through the massive grounds (swimming pool, big garden, etc) while the party from the wedding was still going on. There were people all over, a lot of extended family. The social environment annoyed me so I decided to abandon it and go to my room.

Apparently my room was located down a flight of stairs (almost like subway stairs) near the swimming pool. There were other rooms in this subterranean living space, and I passed a bathroom where someone hadn't flushed the toilet. (The toilet paper had gold edges on it and I knew they were real gold and was somewhat annoyed at the decadence the others had chosen to splurge on.) In my bathroom was the secret entrance to my room (whoo! lol) but as I spoke the security word the tile wall remained unchanged. I figured the voice recognition software hadn't recognized me as I'd spoken the word kinda softly, so I tried again. (I had Kyle's voice of course, which after waking up struck me as really cool.)

No good... strange... I decided to use the restroom while I was there, but then got disgusted enough to decide not to (this bathroom had been trashed worse than the last one). I went back topside and wandered around the garden. Something was trying to form in my brain, a realization, one that was important and probably dangerous. I sat down on the edge of a cement and tile flooring area, and stared at the bushes and dirt and randomly-cut flagstones that made up the path going through the garden.

A lady related to me (aunt? cousin?) showed up and said hello. She mentioned something about my uncle (let's call him Fred) and someone else working on the garden that morning, tearing up the flagstones. Then she left, and the thought that had been coming now had the gaps filled in. The pipes that brought water to my room and that whole underground area ran under the flagstone path. I followed the path, looking at it carefully, and at first it seemed okay but in one area, where the pipes were, the dirt had been packed back down as if it had been disturbed and replaced. And there was even one large hole area where the flagstones had been replaced over the hole (dream logic failing badly) and I couldn't quite see the pipes down there but still...

Then guess who should show up, but uncle Fred. I was pissed off, but I kept my anger calm while I went on a rambling, true-Pretender-Kyle-style accusation. I said that he'd done something to the pipes so I'd drown and also there was something about getting skunk stuff on me (which hadn't happened in the dream proper, but as soon as I said it, it was as if it was a part of the dream's past, during the party) so I'd have to go take a shower, and there was already so much water gone into the bathrooms that were supposedly damaged by "stupid partygoers."

By the end of this my uncle was steaming mad, his face was red and his eyes were huge, his lips drawn back and I knew he was going to attack me and try to kill me here. I attacked him first, but he was really strong. I had enough to do keeping him from getting any advantage, and in the meantime I was trying to get at his head so I could snap his neck. After some struggling I did, and I snapped it one way and then the other for good measure. (Clangy Silent Hill music here, very loud and scary.) My uncle should have died but it was like he was trying to snap his head back properly now, but I tried my best to keep hold of where I wanted the dream plot to go. So Kyle-me turned away and shut his eyes, sort of having a zen moment as he stood there perfectly calm and serene. I knew I had to end the dream fast, and so Kyle opened his eyes and in real life I opened my eyes as well...

...and was quite awake.


thoughts )



tirsdendreams: (down the bunny pit)
(The initial intro here is the built-in past that came with my dream self. The part of the dream I remember begins with the alien prison system.)

I was myself, but an ultimate future version. Apparently I'd overcome my difficulties and excelled even physically far enough to join the US military. I'm not sure how old I was, but it didn't seem like it mattered because I was in such good shape. I was respected in my unit and had done great things. I'd patterned myself after the military version of Vin Diesel's movie characters and considered him my role model, so much so that I probably thought almost like he did.

But then aliens had attacked earth. (They looked like Covenant Elite from Halo 2, which I played quite a bit of yesterday.) We fought back but it was a losing battle. So many died, but some of us were captured. Quite a few, in fact. The aliens shipped us all to another planet and stuck us in a prison made for slave labor.

Our first test was to climb down this very long strange grating that led eventually to the prison floor. The thing was probably at least fifteen stories high. Anybody who fell died and wasn't considered worthy of living or working for the aliens. This task was easy enough and I progressed downwards quicktly. Two guys by me were talking even while a loud PA system kept repeating rules like "Absolutely no talking." They tried to get me to talk too, I whispered a couple things and then decided it wasn't worth the risk and shut up. I didn't even look at them anymore, I wasn't gonna get in trouble. The other guys kept talking and I listened intently as they discussed a rumor about someone having escaped from this prison some time ago. The guy was legendary for having done it and it was supposed to be impossible, all the guards said so and denied the escape rumor. I latched onto this idea, believing it fully, and knew if anyone was getting out again, it'd be me.

It wasn't long before the guys near me got fried by flying alien-built robot things for talking. They fell and were probably already dead before they hit bottom; I didn't watch, I concentrated on my descent. I made it to the ground floor unscathed and stayed put in a courtyard where guards watched everyone coming down. The guards were human, but not earth human... I knew there was some sort of evil human race beyond our planet who was allied with the aliens. (There are in fact no more Halo-2-ish aliens visible from this point on in the dream.)

Once everyone in my group was down, the guards started dividing us into two groups. There were two guards in charge of this and one was female. She and I were the only females on the floor. The male guard asked my name and I told him "Tirsden." I figured there was no point in using my earth name (Kat/Katrina) and my online alias would be best now. If I had a choice about anything, they'd call me what I wanted them to call me. The guard pointed to the farther group and told me to join them. I was half way across the floor when the female guard said she had something important to tell him and he told me to stop. I did and stood there apparently just being obedient but I listened hard and could just make out the conversation (my hearing was very good, obviously better than they thought).

The woman said that she'd accidentally found one of the "eyes" that the higher ups used to see the "invisible ones" in the hallways. The male guard thought this was very interesting but told her to talk to him again later, they had work to do. Meanwhile I'm thinking this lady has an unscheduled date with me as soon as possible so I can snag this "eye." And now I knew there was some sort of secret backup security system. I could imagine floating monstrocities in prison barracks hallways silently killing inmates lucky enough to make it that far while trying to escape. It was an easy guess none of the prisoners knew about this... except the unlucky dead ones.

The male guard told me to continue on to my group and I obeyed. We were all marched through a passage to another smaller courtyard. There was a yellow line painted across the middle of it. The PA was still blaring repetative rules, "No talking... No fighting..." No this, no that. Be good little inmates. The guard ordered us to line up on the yellow line and face to the right (straight along the line). I did this and a few others complied just as quickly. Some others straggled. The guard didn't immediately react, he just watched, so one of them got particularly cocky. This mean, short, ugly guy wanted to pick a fight with me, hoping to get me in trouble. He told me I was in his spot; I ignored him. He tried various insults as I stood there being a good little inmate. He got really pissed at my continued indifference and shoved me. I kept my feet and remained where I was, didn't even turn to him.

The guard walked up to me and said, "Put him in his place." Before the idiot behind me knew what happened I'd spun around and he was on the ground beside the line, face pressed painfully into the ground and completely incapacitated. I'd broken a bone or two in key locations. He blubbered like a baby and wet himself. He wouldn't be moving within the next few minutes so I got right back up, performed a perfect military salute to the guard, and got back into my place in line as if nothing had happened. I wasn't even winded, just stood there calmly with rigid military posture.

The guard was obviously impressed. And that was the point of all this apparent obedience. I wanted to make it look like I was extremely adaptable and ready to prove my allegience to the new reigning power. If the people I worked for before couldn't keep control then they didn't deserve it and I was ready to be recruited by the other side. In reality though I was only going to play their game long enough to get them back big-time. But I shoved that thought deep down and made sure I kept in character. I was a good little inmate. I wanted to be more. But I didn't expect to be rewarded until I had proved my worth. So I was a good little inmate.

The guard ordered us all to move again and as we went down the next passage I heard other guards take care of the moron on the ground with precision that brought screams and the finality of silence. We passed some windows where we could see a gigantic, highly-mechanized assembly line creating strange looking robots and who-knows-what. We could see prisoners working the line and somebody died because they were stupid and didn't move fast enough; part of the machinery flattened them coldly. We continued on down more passages and soon found ourselves in a very earth-like locker room. The guard told us to change into uniforms readily available in the lockers. He also said we could talk to each other now if we wanted. He left and there were no other guards in the room. I reached for a uniform, they were all the same (in different sizes) and were mostly bright-yet-light yellow with similarly-shaded orange trim and some white too. They were simple yet semi-futuristicly cut one-piece jumpsuits. I couldn't help but think of the outfits from the XBox game The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay except these looked better.

I was the only woman still but changing out of my clothes and into the new ones didn't phase me, I was used to it from military days. Plus I knew our captors were watching on what looked like closed circuit cameras in the ceilings but I guessed they probably had far more advanced technology spying on us as well. Everyone's conversation was rather guarded because of the cameras. I'd just finished suiting up and was talking to a black guy with crazy hair when all of a sudden Candy shows up. (My real-life family's cat! Geez she's been showing up in dreams a lot lately lol.) I was very surprised to see her at this point... how'd she manage that? Since she was there I wanted to be sure she remained safe and I figured the alien guys wouldn't like her at all and would probably kill her since she was virtually useless. (If I reference aliens from now on I'm really meaning the human version; I thought of them all as aliens.)

I held Candy and she was very cuddly and obviously scared but happy to be with me. A moment later the male guard came back into the room and walked over, saying I was to come with him. I asked him if my black friend could look after Candy and the guard said yes. Apparently I'd impressed him enough that he'd let the cat live at least as well as it could with a random inmate. Since I was being singled out I had a feeling I wasn't coming back here. I handed the kitty to the black guy and followed the guard out of the room. Good luck, Candy...

The guard directed me down hallways, keeping me in the lead. (At this point I became Richard B. Riddick, yay! I love being him in dreams. And dream logic didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with this; it's like I'd been him the whole time. Even back when I was in the military and then fighting aliens on earth.) The guard was following me with his gun trained on my back. He wasn't stupid even if he was impressed with me. I ended up in a round room with a lighted floor and ceiling. Windows were set into the walls and the only places that had no windows were where the doors were. There were about four doors total. The room was quite bright but it was hard to see past the windows; they were tinted to look darker.

The guard handed me a golden bracelet with a shiny red stone in the middle of it. It was thick in the middle and had one straight edge on the bottom and the other side was pointed out like an upside-down "V." He told me how to put it on and I placed it on my right wrist as directed. The pointed part came up over the back of my hand some. The entire thing was rather beautiful if simplistic and very shiny. The stone was not facetted but smooth, set so far in that its top rounded surface was raised just slightly above the rest of the bracelet. The stone was somewhat tear-shaped and longer than rounder. The point of it was set the same direction as the point of the bracelet (straight out) and in roughly the center of the top area.

The guard told me to stay there and I stood still in the middle of the room looking at the bracelet. He left and the door hissed shut. I saw him enter a control room on the far side of the windows and then the room got even brighter. I looked back at the bracelet and it was melting, moving, like mercury; like the stuff Neo gets on his hand when he touches the mirror in The Matrix. Even the red stone was running and merging with the gold stuff. It covered my hand but didn't move up my arm. It started to hurt. It was melting into my skin! Merging with me.

I tried to keep calm but nausea threatened to overwhelm me. The pain was becoming intense and it was moving through my body now, like the gold stuff was in my bloodstream. I found myself on my knees. I didn't want to freak out... I wanted to continue to impress the guard. I could deal with this. I could. I... I fell over and curled up, just living through the pain, the only outward signs that I was hurting were the grimace on my face and my rapid breathing. I couldn't move anymore. I passed out.

* * *


I'm not sure how long I'd been asleep when I woke up. I felt terribly groggy and had the impression I'd woken up a few times before but not with any real lucidity. I was able to get to my knees and there was no sound, the room was back to its original brightness before the whole bracelet thing. The bracelet! I looked at my wrist and it was there but it was different now, the red stone was visible but it was like the whole thing had become a permanent part of my hand. It was solid metal yet didn't interfere with my wrist movement. I wondered if it had replaced some of my wrist bones with metal or biomechanics. I couldn't tell, it just looked... kinda pretty. But manly pretty. (LMAO the things I think in dreams, eh? I was thinking it looked like something He-Man or Conan the Barbarian would wear.)

Nothing had happened so far, it was silent and I couldn't see the guard or anyone else in the control room. I couldn't really see through the windows at all, it was very dark behind them. Maybe someone was there. But there was something weirder much closer to me. There was blue slimy stuff on the floor. It was spread out like I'd been thrashing in it. I had a feeling it had something to do with what the bracelet had done. The word that came to mind was "transformation." I touched the blue stuff, it reminded me of shampoo in texture. It didn't seem harmful. I had a feeling it had come out of me somehow; apparently I didn't need it anymore.

Then there was a voice in my head. It was Cortana!

(And now I must take a moment to explain what the dream logic was doing at this point. Cortana is a female computer AI system from the game Halo 2, she speaks to the character you play through his helmet system. She can be transferred to other computer systems by touch through your suit and she provides information, witty comments, and sometimes unlocks doors. In the dream it appears Cortana was being used to guide people in the military during the battle against the aliens. I knew now that she'd been there "in my head" in an implant that communicated her words directly to my brain. She could also see anything I could see and had very limited control of my muscles if needed. She'd lost contact with me when I'd been captured by the aliens and was only now able to reestablish contact.)

Cortana sounded extremely surprised to find me alive and said so. She was glad, but where was I? What was going on? Was I okay? ...Why was I not responding? All she could tell right now was that I was still looking at the blue stuff on the floor. I had to think fast through the grogginess that still plagued me. If I didn't respond somehow she might think I'd been brainwashed or was unsavable and she would then cut off all contact with me forever for security reasons. But if I talked, and there was someone in the control room, they would know something was up. I couldn't let them know Cortana was talking to me and it was pretty obvious they didn't know or they'd be in here now. They'd probably kill me. I ran my fingers through the goop on the floor in frustration... and then I knew what to do.

I drew a happy face very quickly, staring at it intently, and whiped it out of existence. Cortana realized what I was trying to say... that I was okay but couldn't talk and/or was being watched. I don't remember the conversation very well now (writing and reading in dreams is hard) but it seems like my limited method of communication had only limited success. I wrote someone's name, a higher-up, wondering if they were alive and hadn't been captured. Cortana made me whipe the name away very quickly. Apparently it was crucial that name not be seen at all. I got the hint. Maybe they had been captured but the aliens didn't really know who they were looking for and the person had remained anonymous so far. I wrote "President?" as well and Cortana made me whipe it out again. Then she cut out in mid-sentence. I'd lost the signal again... and the lights got brighter in the room. The guards were apparently noticing I was awake. That was all, it seems.

I could now see the male guard from before on the other side of the control room windows. He spoke into the PA and said I was going to be tested. They wanted to see how well my conversion had gone. I realized that while I was asleep, some built-in system in the technology on my wrist had trained me in it's proper use. (I think this is a random reference to a similar concept in the game Morrowind when you get the wristguard you need to beat the game.) I was feeling better now, in fact I felt just fine.

The room changed, it reminded me of the holodecks on Star Trek. The walls got wider, making the room bigger, and dirt and rocks appeared on the ground. The doors hissed open and a dozen zombie-like crazy humans stumbled in. They took one look at me and charged. They were not slow/stupid zombies but fast/smart zombies. Eh oh. Oh well, bring it on! In top shape this would be a challenge but doable. But now... I kicked serious ass and I kicked it fast. I was thoroughly surprised at my improved strength, stamina, and speed. I could even think faster, and fighting a dozen crazy things was actually easy. They were all dead before five minutes had passed. The zombies faded as if transported somewhere else and I stood there waiting, barely even winded and pretty psyched up.

The guard voiced his approval and congratulations, and then one door hissed open again. In came a very big, strong, pissed-off looking guy. He came after me and this fight was much tougher than the last even though it was only one guy. It was hard to do any damage to him and I spent most of my time avoiding his fists because I had a bad feeling one solid hit would spell doom. In the end I used all my fighting expertise and agility to take him out with one deft hit to a specific spot in his neck. He fell like a ton of lead and I snapped his neck. Sucked to be him. He too disappeared into thin air. Somebody had a nasty clean-up job wherever all these bodies were going. I waited again, I was feeling some wear now but still ready for anything.

I was on the far side of the room from the windows with the guard at this point. The guard voiced his approval again and said my final test was next. There was a slanted rock over near the control room. Someone began to materialize there, instead of walking in through the doors. Oh god no... it was my best buddy from the military, the guy I'd fought alongside against the aliens. I thought he was dead... and yet, I knew this was him. It wasn't some illusion or hologram or lookalike. This was real. They expected me to kill my own buddy and thereby leave behind everything from my old life. In fact, if I didn't kill him fast, my hesitation would clue them in that I wasn't already completely loyal to them.

As I moved towards him I could see that he was lying there very awkwardly; he was paralyzed, his back was probably broken. He was staring at me, confused and afraid but glad to see me. I'm not even sure he could move or talk at all, just look at me. He thought... maybe I was going to save him.

(At this point my brain replayed the following moments until it was happy with the end results, like loading and reloading a saved game in a computer game.)

(First time)

I walked up to him and looked down at him. His look of hope turned to a look of haunting disbelief as I reached down and started to strangle him. He eventually stopped breathing but it felt like an eternity to me as he stared up at me with that heartbreaking look on his face. I knew exactly when to let go so that maybe his body would force him to breathe again after a few minutes, or if he was lucky someone would find him soon enough to resuscitate him. I let go and stood up. He was technically dead. But no, I didn't like this version...

(Second time)

I walked up more quickly this time as if this wasn't even an issue to me. I started the strangling thing again but a moment later realized how hard it must be to die this way... so I snapped his neck and he died instantly. I wasn't really all that happy with this version either...

(Third and last time)

He looked at me as I approached and I saw a different look this time. It said so many things... like, he knew he was a goner, he knew the aliens were testing me and I'd win their trust if I killed him. He was in pain and dying anyways. He'd much rather I killed him than these alien bastards. I walked straight up to him and snapped his neck. I believed he felt no pain and was finally at rest where the aliens could never hurt him again.

And I knew I'd impressed hell out of the guard and whoever else was watching. I was headed for big things under their wing... and when the moment was right, vengeance. They would pay. Oh yes, they would pay.

Then I woke up.
tirsdendreams: (redefinition of me)
My (real) parents were on a car trip, but it was like we all in the Great Depression era. We even had a car from then, one of those mobster looking things (the hit-man car that the modern PT Cruiser is modelled after). We stopped at a place to stay for the night, and I remember it being cold outside but still daylight. Inside the hotel was a line, a very long line. Everyone was sorta hunkered down along a hallway, with a blanket around them if they were lucky enough to have one. Then this lady who musta been the manager/owner scurried by, saying to herself quite audibly, "At least I have the alimony payment" over and over. I think she said something before that too, as she came in, like, "I can't do this I can't deal with this anymore."

I turned to Dad, who was crammed in an alcove behind me with other people, and I said, "That's not smart, she shouldn't talk like she's got money around a bunch of strangers, she's putting herself in danger. I guess she could have meant that she'd just successfully made an alimony payment, but the odds are entirely greater that she's the one with the cash." Dad said something in agreement.

I decided to follow her, worried she was gonna get in trouble. I managed to stop her outside the hotel, and asked if there was something I could do to help. At this point I was morphing into a sort of freelance detective character (still female, still kinda with my real personality). The lady said that the hotel's reputation was on the line, that someone had stolen a diamond necklace from one of the tenants. I asked who'd been in and out of the place lately, and the lady said there was one black kid named Scamp who hung around a lot (at least I think that's his name... something like that... Scat? Scraps? not sure).

Suddenly I knew he'd done it, call it gut feeling or whatever. I just had to find him and see what he'd done with it. I told the lady not to worry, that I'd take care of this, and asked if the tenant had reported the theft to the police yet. The lady said no, and I said "good" because Scamp would be less likely to be nervous if the cops weren't crawling all over the town looking for a thief.

I had no car and no driver's license, so I walked. I checked my pocket for coins and realized that in Great Depression standards I had a small fortune in coins in my pocket, even though it was just a little bit of change by today's standards. I knew I could use a taxi for a penny to get anywhere in town, and for two pennies I was certain any cabby would drive me all over for however long it took. I walked past my Dad who was bicycling down the main street for some reason (like he belonged in this town?) and then I got a taxi.

I stopped at a jewelry store and asked if anyone had sold or tried to sell a diamond necklace here recently. "No." Had anyone seen Scamp around? "Yes, he's over at the laundromat a lot." So I went there and saw him across this big room of washers and dryers. He was talking to himself, working out his own code of holes in the wall, and by pressing the right one he openned a secret compartment in the wall. He hid something in a small box that came out of it (like a CD player ejecting it's tray, but the box came out completely) and then closed it again.

I went up to him, pretending I hadn't seen the secrets (there were three compartments total). First I talked to him, making him trust me and feel safe with me. Then I convinced him to give up the goods, and I openned the third compartment (I knew which one probably had jewelry from watching earlier). I asked him if one necklace was the diamond one missing from the hotel, but I had guessed wrong and he pointed out the correct one. It was a diamond set in a open heart shape made of gold, and the chain was gold too. I put that necklace in my right front pocket of my shirt so I wouldn't get it mixed up again. I said I'd help him return the rest of the stolen jewelry too. One of the other compartments had stuff that was actually his, just little odds and ends like pieces of ribbon. He started to tell me about his sister. He said, "You know my sister's depressed, right?" She was poor too, and spent all her time in her room. She seemed to be getting sicker and sicker. Everone expected her to just sorta pine away and die, like there was no way to help her.

I went to visit the sister and saw her room was awfully decorated in puke green and a color I like to call "grandma orange." I guess she liked green and orange together, but I knew just the decor alone had to be making her depression worse. I found a pillow that had a pattern of orange flowers on green leaves, and I said, "How would you like to see your room completely made over in this green" and I pointed to an almost lime-green, "and this orange" and I pointed to a matching neon orange. (Very Target/Ikea-like, or fairly typical "Bed In A Bag" bedding color options.) I was already thinking of patterns for the bedding and accessories. The girl seemed interested, and I knew this makeover would be a huge breath of fresh air for her. Plus, we'd be getting her all new clothes and a hair makeover too. This was starting to feel like one of those extreme makeover shows, and the Great Depression era was fading into modern times.

And then that's exactly what it was. I was the host of a makeover show, and I'd become a black lady. I was standing on the porch of the house the following morning talking to the girl's mother and aunt or someone like that (they were all black too, of course, since Scamp was black in the first place and this was his family). The women were sitting around on the patio furniture. I said, "Now, we've got a lot to do, lots of shopping to get done, so I better get started." And I was going to go in and get the girl.

Then I woke up.
tirsdendreams: (hold me)
I was with a little girl, and it seemed like she was a very close friend even though she was so young. She might have been about seven or eight years old. I was my normal age (27). I'm not sure where we came from or what we'd been doing, but somewhere in the dream I posted just before this I had gotten scissors from my Mom, and I was playing with them. I remember they were little sewing kit type scissors, two metal pieces of the right shape connected by a single tiny screw, which was rather loose. I wanted to fix them so they cut better, and managed to take the screw off. I put the pieces back together wrong, and put the screw back on. After fiddling with it some more I finally fixed the darn thing and got the screw snuggly in place. I'm not really sure where I was while I was doing all this.

The part I do remember very well was arriving back at the little girl's room in her parents' house, as if I'd been there before and was staying there for a while. I think there were a lot of people staying in the house, sort of a family reunion or something (but in reality nobody I know in real life was there, but in the dream it made sense). Anyways, the little girl's room was laid out like the following diagram:
             ----------------
             |              |
window -->                  |
             ___________    |
             |       |  |     
             |  bed  |  |       <-- door
             |_______|__|___|
(Note that the head of the bed was actually where most people would put the foot of the bed; in this room it was near the door instead of the far wall. I drew the pillow in there to help illustrate. The bed had a wooden headboard as well, and I think there was a footboard on the window side of the room.)

It was bed time, in fact I think it was way beyond bedtime, and we'd been in bed talking for a while. Apparently I was sleeping in the same bed as the little girl, which didn't seem weird in the dream. I still had the scissors I'd gotten from Mom. Either I or the girl found a loose strand of hair and I cut it. Then I found a very long strand of golden hair, it was really pretty yet really odd. It was thicker than normal hair, almost like thread. And it honestly looked like gold. I was thinking it must be from something or someone special (I was thinking of an elf, like Galadriel in The Lord of the Rings), and both of us were a little afraid that we had something like this in our posession. I was thinking about cutting it but something felt wrong with that idea, like it would bring some sort of danger upon us.

Then the hair was tied together at the ends, I don't remember doing that. Did it do it on its own? Now that it was a loop, I looped it back on itself until it was three or four loops, and the whole thing was much smaller now that it was looped more. I then held all the loops together by pulling it tight between my fingers and twisting it so that it made a thick cord. I told the little girl to cut it while I held it so that it didn't fall apart. She didn't seem sure about this, I think we'd discussed that it seemed a bad idea to cut it. But I think we knew we'd set something in motion and we were gonna have to go through with it. I also remember thinking I should be the one cutting it, but I let her do it. It didn't cut completely through in one snip, it sort of frayed weirdly. But after a couple more snips it cut through.

I said something like, "Alright, we've completed your spell, do what you will," to the air in general, thinking that whatever wanted us to do this thing would hear me. Nothing happened at all for a few moments. Then we heard very slow, soft thuds coming from the hallway behind the closed bedroom door. The little girl got very scared and I held her tight and watched the door from behind the headboard. I stared at the doorknob, which was a normal gold-colored doorknob, waiting for it to start turning. Even though it was shiny I was confident that I could see it turn, plus I thought it might shake very slightly when touched (I knew it was slightly loose).

I noticed at this point that the pattern on the door was a sort of latticework of wood that'd been made into a diagonal crossing pattern inside squares, a vaguely oriental look (this pattern came from the Splinter Cell Chinese Embassy levels). Then suddenly the doorknob had a very similar pattern on it, but just one square with the diagonals crossing inside it. Plus it had changed to a sort of cream color, like it was made of ivory or enamel. At least now I would know for sure when somebody turned it. And it was at this moment that I realized I was dreaming. But in my lucid moment I decided to wait and see what happened, as the dream plot seemed interesting enough without messing with it just yet. So I sat there holding the girl and staring at the doorknob.

The doorknob started to turn. Then the door whooshed open fast and I and the little girl screamed really loud (and I promptly forgot I was dreaming). But it turned out to be a guy who was staying at the house, and the girl's mother. The guy was a cop of some sort. He said something like, "What's wrong?" We apologized fast saying that we were scared it was someone or something else at the door. He accepted that and said he was there to take the little girl with him on some sort of bust because the police department did that sometimes as some sort of... educational thing? I have no clue now, but in the dream it made sense, in that I knew it was a normal thing, although I didn't feel it was very safe, even if they said it was.

The girl's mother seemed to be very pleased that her daughter had been chosen to go this time. But the girl didn't really seem to want to go, I think she wanted to be with me. There was still the thought of the golden hair and whatever cutting it might have done. And it was like the adults expected her to accept the invitation to go on the police thing, as if not wanting to go would be a horrifically outlandish thought. I'm not sure if she said she would go or not.

I don't remember any more.

dream symbol analysis and thoughts )

Pirates!

Jul. 10th, 2005 12:05 pm
tirsdendreams: (redefinition of me)
It was a pirate ship full of evildoers and undead. My companions and I fought bravely (we were the "good pirates" as opposed to the evil ones) but in the end we were captured. Our leader was tied at the wrists with a long rope and hoisted high into the rigging as punishment. He caught a beam high up the main mast and suddenly I was him. The bad guys had left me a simple knife for some reason, or maybe they hadn't searched me well enough, and I held the blade in my teeth for a moment as I maneuvered myself onto the beam better. My friends were now up on the mast with me. I cut myself loose and we went back down the mast, leaping the last several feet to the deck and catching the others by surprise. A bunch of the evil pirates were now undead (must be thanks to the movie Pirates of the Caribbean). I was able to kick or punch some of the undead into smaller pieces and then throw them overboard into the water which was rushing by at incredible speed.

Then I realized that all this was make believe (even though we could see everything as if it was real). I was the father of one or more of the children who were making up this grand adventure, while the evil leader of the bad pirates was the father of another boy who was supposed to be in charge of our capture, and possibly the ship in general.

We were winning the day, and the ship. I found the aft deck, which was a good ten or fifteen feet below where I stood. I saw the "evil" boy down there being chastized by his father for letting things go to heck. The boy who was in trouble was sort of pudgy, and he was being disbanded from the pirates for his failure. I lept towards the deck below...

And turned into a woman in a white victorian dress, floating gently down to land softly on my feet. I seemed to inspire awe and reverence in all the children (the evil father figure had left) and I felt an incredible loving, glowing warmth inside me, like I was the deified concept of "the mother" from Peter Pan come to life. The pudgy boy looked like he was going to cry. I asked him what was wrong, and he said nobody wanted to play with him anymore, that nobody liked him.

I felt so sorry for the little boy (who might have been my son, it was hard to tell in the dream because the players seemed so oddly general), and I pulled him close and comforted him. I said, "Mommy loves you... and Daddy loves you too, when he isn't being grumpy." This seemed to make the boy feel better, and he left, probably going back to playing with the other children. (I'm not sure if the evil father was supposed to be my husband or what... it's almost like this story was seen from the naive point of view of a child.)

There was another younger boy who didn't leave with the others. He was maybe five years old, dressed in a sort of Buddhist monk outfit, probably something he picked out of dress-up clothes. He even had a bald head, and his eyes were sparkling pools of wonder that made him look like the most sweet, innocent thing. He was enthralled with me, and also a thin gold necklace I was wearing. I said something to him, something like, "Do you like it?" and I tried to put it on him, but it snagged and I couldn't get it on him. So I put it back on me and asked him if he thought it made me look pretty. He didn't say anything but I could tell that he thought I was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Then I realized that he only seemed to be feeling the necklace, and not looking at it directly. I wondered if the poor child was blind, or partly blind, and nobody had figured it out yet (he wasn't my child, but I may have known his parents). My fear was that he was entirely blind (how nobody would notice that doesn't make sense beyond the dream) but then he focused on the necklace and might have said something and I was content that he could at least see, even if I didn't know how well. Then there was some nonsense about unrolling a scarf from around a paper roll, and the end of it was attached to the roll with three pieces of duct tape.

Then I woke up.

dream symbol analysis and thoughts )
tirsdendreams: (<3)
But that's what I did. I was a guy for this entire dream, very athletic and kinda skinny. This was like, the most intense, biggest race you could ever do, and there were only four contestants. I represented Australia, and my main competitor was American. The other two guys injured or collapsed themselves out of the race. I mean, geez, we ran non-stop for a week. Okay, you could stop if you wanted to, but that only put you in risk of losing... I remember we were allowed to change our shoes once (because we'd literally wear them out from all the running) and I had done it early, 3 days into the race instead of 4 like most people did. But I had put on two pairs of socks, and I knew this would probably help me get through the last bit better than waiting longer to change my shoes (maybe they'd had serious issues faster than I'd anticipated). The thought that the extra pair of socks would make me heavier and possibly lose the race was present in my mind but I decided to do it anyways.

The only scenes I remember from the race were during the daytime. I remember at some point, I think on a quick water-drinking break, I took off my running gloves (something my dream invented, as if they'd be needed for a race this long) and someone tried to put a liner in the right one to make it heavier. I discovered it and pulled it out and ran off amused at their attempts to make me lose. Yeah, obviously weight was a big thing in this race for some reason. Even the weight of a little bit of fabric.

And the other weird thing about this race was that you had to keep track of where you were supposed to run on your own a lot of the time. If you got off the track, you risked not being able to find it again. Sometimes the other runners would take shortcuts (you were allowed to do that if you wanted to risk losing the trail), and the American guy did this towards the end of the race, managing to get ahead of me for a moment. Then we reached a stretch of mowed lawn, and the track was designated by taller grass that hadn't been mowed as far down as the rest, but was still close to the same hight. It was very hard to see the trail, and this is when I decided it was shortcut time. I followed where the twisting, bizarre grass track was going with my eyes, and cut across the rest of the grass to a fence which was open, and I could tell the track went on through there. That led into the homestretch at a stadium, but it wasn't a big, olympic type stadium, it had sort of a converted horse racetrack feel to it. It was also dry and dusty.

I was afraid I might lose the race at this point because the American was so close behind me and I was running out of energy bad. But I put everything into the last stretch, and ran my heart out... and won. I remember just past the finish line all I could do was fall into the arms of my trainer and a friend (both guys) as they congratulated me and cheered. The American came up and offered me membership in his exclusive running club (at least, I think it was a club for runners, but I'm not really sure anymore just what it was for, it was a big honor though) and he wasn't mad at me for winning either, he was impressed. He gave me a bracelet with big gold and black charms on it, that signified my being part of the club he was in. I think the symbols were either stars/plus signs in circles or ships' stearing wheels... or maybe a combination of all those.

Then I woke up.

dream symbol analysis and thoughts )

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Character Sheet

Description:
There's a land somewhere deep in Tirsden's subconscious where chaos holds sway and pigs fly.

Strengths:
Often vivid and exciting, like a script yet to be written.

Weaknesses:
Nightmares and episodes of wakefulness.

Special Skills:
Flying, gender switching, lucidity.

Weapons:
Dream logic.

Special Moments:
Being Riddick and kicking ass. Being "Bea" from Kill Bill and kicking ass. Being Indiana Jones and kicking ass. Generally... kicking ass!