I'm an X-Men-style mutant and I drive a Jag

(Definitely inspired by reading Ultimate X-Men v.1 yesterday, this dream starts out rather more boring than the title implies but gets more interesting later.)


I was my real self at a Wal-Mart waiting in line at the entertainment department checkout. There was someone ahead of me and they were taking forever. There were at least two guys behind me as well. Someone had managed to find two chairs and they looked as if a lot of people waiting in line had used them that day. They were in the first and second person-waiting-in-line positions and the line was kinda spread out anyways, the store wasn't busy in our area except for those of us waiting in line. So I sat on the chair by my position and waited. I was buying a scanner that was on sale for $20 and I had some other stuff I'd set on a nearby shelf.

As I was waiting I realized I didn't have enough money to get all this plus Sims 2 which I was going to get in a couple days (this reflects real-life plans to get that game) so I just sorta left the extra stuff on the shelf and still sat there waiting since I was gonna buy the scanner regardless. (It was pretty much the same one my parental units got me for xmas but apparently my dream had forgotten about that.)

I was quite bored and looked over at the counter. The cashier was gone for some reason, but so was the person ahead of me in line. I moved up to the counter and set the scanner box on it. Suddenly there was shouting and an explosion from somewhere beyond the department, but close enough that it sent stuff around us flying. The other guys scattered and I found myself surrounded by a dozen rifle-armed black ops specialists, every muzzle pointed at my head. (At this point the dream logic decided I was an X-Men-style mutant and these guys were something similar to Weapon-X enforcers from the Ultimate X-Men comic book series.)

I thought at first they wanted to capture me but it turns out they were just going to kill me. I moved lightning fast and kicked up at the muzzles, spinning in a full circle. Now they weren't pointed at me but at random angles, and several of the bad guys fired as a reflex to my attack, hitting their buddies instead of me. The rest were easy enough to take care of quickly and I glanced around fast to see there wasn't anyone standing near me. I grabbed my scanner box (hey, a good scanner is a good scanner and the store was going to hell in a handbasket) and tucked it under one arm, heading for the main doors. On the way there I spotted another mutant (she looked like Ultimate X-Men Storm) and told her to follow me. As I ran out the front doors I noticed candy stands by the registers there and yelled at her to grab a candy bar, "Hell, grab a whole ****ing handful, we're going to need them."

She did and followed me out to the parking lot, looking a bit like a deer in headlights. (My character changed somewhere around this point, becoming male, sort of a punk, younger version of Wolverine.) As we're running across the parking lot I say, "Okay, where'd I put the Jag." (This was in part a vague realization I was dreaming, but only enough to seed an idea into the dream... it beat stealing a car.) I found it quickly after saying that, it was completely black and oldschool-meets-ultramodern (special edition?). I grabbed the keys out of my pocket and unlocked the door with the remote. I threw the scanner in the back and the girl got in the passenger side.

Pretty soon we were speeding down streets and away from the main area of town. The girl was worried that the cops must be after us, and I said "Oh they definitely are." Nobody was giving chase behind us at the moment, so the girl asked me how I knew for sure. "I can hear them, I pick up radio frequencies when I want to... and sometimes when I don't want to." (This was another semi-lucidly seeded idea, the whole time I don't remember hearing any radio but the dream logic didn't seem to care.)

Then there were two cars ahead of us driving directly at us through oncoming traffic. I swerved to miss them and ended up going down the embankment on the road we were now on, a small highway in a forested area. I kept the car running along the embankment but steering was sluggish and I couldn't seem to work the car back up to the road. The last thing I needed was for the cops to show up now, so I stopped the car and got out, telling the girl to stay put. "What are you going to do?" she asked fearfully, and I answered, "Use my other talent." I dragged the car back up to the road with inhuman strength and hopped back in the driver's seat. Vroooooooooooooooom!

The rest of the dream changed dramatically and made a lot less sense. I became the girl character, who was now white with blonde hair done up very prim (think Jane from A&E's Pride & Prejudice), and the other character was even more like Wolverine now, closer to the correct age for the movies and how he looks in Ultimate X-Men. We'd made serious tracks and were taking a break on a northeast-coast beach that was apparently a memorable spot to the guy character. Let's call him Logan (Wolverine's real name) cuz I think that's really who he was supposed to be at this point.

I was wading in ankle-deep water and talking to Logan about random things and it was obvious we'd fallen in love. A fog was creeping in and tendrils of mist curled towards the shore. Then a rather thick, smaller bank of fog rolled in, moving towards me. Eerily I noted that it seemed almost sentient as it moved straight for me. It covered my feet and moved up over my body, engulfing me. I passed out, falling into the water, and had a vision of a woman who looked at me out of the fog, at first suspicious but then she smiled and turned and left. I woke up a moment later in Logan's worried arms, and I told him what I'd seen. He said he used to come to this beach with his wife before she died, and it must have been her spirit. I still felt a little dizzy and he helped me walk back to the sand.

Then I woke up.

I'm a girl dreaming I'm a guy pretending to be a girl

(This entire dream was animated as if it were Japanese anime... and happened around 6am on January 6th, 2007. Warning: the following text contains graphic violence.)

It was a futuristic world, and through the bustle of it all poured a soft, female voice, bringing words of peace, obedience, control. Martain had more important things on his mind, he was a freedom fighter and knew that under the surface of this glossy world, corruption and evil dominated. He was going to break into the main base of the War Force and do as much damage as he could, unlock their secrets for the world to see.

He went in disguise, right up to the main gates, attempting to join one of the public relations tours about to begin. But the guards threw him out, thinking him a cloaked homeless beggar, nothing more than street trash. At least they hadn't realized who he truly was; he probably only had one more shot at this, they'd get suspicious next time. The rest of Martain's allies were dead or missing, and the authorities were looking for him. He had to make this one count.

When he returned to the outer perimeter this time, his hair was long, golden, and wavy. His body-tight suit showed off his trim figure, with a hot little miniskirt hiding what he wasn't willing to give up. Pert breasts that didn't exist were accentuated by the round green cups built into the suit, and the whole outfit of pastel green and white seemed to gleam like the rest of him. But he looked female now, and it was time to act female. Martain no longer existed, only this new self had a chance to succeed at the self-imposed mission. And her name was Faliah.

Faliah virtually sparkled as she walked up to the gate. The guards immediately invited her on the next tour, which was starting momentarily. They looked sorry they had to remain at their post as she disappeared with some other upper class citizens into the complex.

The first part of the tour was a command room where two senior officers greeted the group. Both men were extremely taken with Faliah but one outranked the other, and the lesser-ranked man was obviously jealous as his superior chatted with the charming young lady. The chatting quickly became overt flirting and the higher-ranking officer said to Faliah, "I'm not actually looking for a woman right now, but I can assure you I have two right hands." (LOL... yeeeah... I think this was supposed to mean that he didn't have "two left feet.")

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the base, a very big ugly part-human mostly-alien guy lost his temper with some officials and went berserk. His large bulbous body, built-in weapons, and freaky biotechnology-covered spiderish legs wreaked havoc, and he stormed into the hallways killing everyone in sight. One of the hallways he found himself in also happened to contain the tour Faliah was part of. The group fled, diving through a security door just as it closed, the monster behind them firing wildly. Nobody noticed that Faliah, the last one through the door, was actually hit in the leg by one of the bullets but it glanced off without even a scratch.

Enraged, the bad guy threw all the firepower he could muster at the door, rockets and bullets eating into the heavy steel and sending chunks of metal flying. The door wouldn't hold much longer... then it opened and Faliah stepped through. Before her ugly assailant knew what was going on, all the shrapnel and bullets lying around came flying at him. He was stunned, dying, but Faliah took no chances and approached the monster, prying open his armored helmet to expose his oddly-shaped brain mass. She pulled it out and ripped it in half, flinging the pieces away.

* * *
It was bright, sunny, cheery, the upper class of the city dining comfortably in the wide open space of an exclusive open-air restaurant. The high commander beemed with pride as he toasted the young couple on the landing below him, officially announcing his son's engagement to one of the fleet's fastest rising and most highly decorated officers. The son was none other than the officer Faliah had flirted with on that fateful tour so long ago, and of course she was the one to be marrying him. Naturally, unknown to anyone, Faliah had no intention of marrying the man who was now a captain, because Faliah was really Martain, and his plans to subvert the entire organization were coming to fruition nicely.

Then I woke up.