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The Birds meets... my broken broom?
Jan. 19th, 2011 12:28 pmI was standing on a sidewalk in a city somewhere, but the area I was in was really wide open. I looked up at the sky, and saw a huge flock of seagulls going by. I remember thinking that was bizarre, as we don't get seagulls here like ever. (So apparently, the city was local to me in Maryland.)
Then suddenly it was like every beak in that flock turned directly towards me, and all I could really see was a whole lot of pointy things lining up and I knew they were going to come after me. There was something next to me... a baby stroller or a shopping cart? Can't remember what exactly, but it had a blanket over part of it and I pulled the blanket off and hid under it.
This didn't work as well as it could have, as the birds arrived and started trying to jab at me through it. Owwww! I think someone else showed up and scared them off more by accident than actually trying, and I told them about the weirdness of the attack and that now I was paranoid all the birds were out to get me. They seemed to sort of half believe me.
The next part I remember was going to a warehouse by the water, a huge lake or river. I went inside and started preparing like 80's montage getting-dressed-in-super-hero-outfit style. Mind you, the end result was sort of steampunk anime goth and my weapon was a broom that had a broken part near the bristle end, yet still remained attached somehow almost like there was a rope inside it. This let the end of the broom swing around at the point where it was broken. And the finishing touch: a pair of dark sunglasses. Because nobody is truly cool without shades, man.
I went back outside and could see a ridiculous amount of birds flocking far over the water. I yelled some sort of challenge at them (probably something totally stellar, like, "Come get me, you assholes!"), and the flock started looking severely agitated and almost boiling with energy. Weirdly enough, the birds seemed to start almost melting together, merging into this weird almost digital-looking sphere-ish shape with white and purple 8-bit triangle patterns on it, that didn't really keep its shape very well but came flying over the water towards me.
Batter up! I swung my broom right into it as it arrived and... the broom kinda got stuck in it, like the thing was sticky. Trying to pull it out just made it suck in further... and then somehow the whole thing transformed into a short gay fashion-designer guy in a black suit and trendy short black haircut. He said he was sorry for the trouble and that things had been taken care of. So... I walked back towards the nearby house with him (that was apparently mine) and offered for him to come in and have drinks.
Then I woke up.
Then suddenly it was like every beak in that flock turned directly towards me, and all I could really see was a whole lot of pointy things lining up and I knew they were going to come after me. There was something next to me... a baby stroller or a shopping cart? Can't remember what exactly, but it had a blanket over part of it and I pulled the blanket off and hid under it.
This didn't work as well as it could have, as the birds arrived and started trying to jab at me through it. Owwww! I think someone else showed up and scared them off more by accident than actually trying, and I told them about the weirdness of the attack and that now I was paranoid all the birds were out to get me. They seemed to sort of half believe me.
The next part I remember was going to a warehouse by the water, a huge lake or river. I went inside and started preparing like 80's montage getting-dressed-in-super-hero-outfit style. Mind you, the end result was sort of steampunk anime goth and my weapon was a broom that had a broken part near the bristle end, yet still remained attached somehow almost like there was a rope inside it. This let the end of the broom swing around at the point where it was broken. And the finishing touch: a pair of dark sunglasses. Because nobody is truly cool without shades, man.
I went back outside and could see a ridiculous amount of birds flocking far over the water. I yelled some sort of challenge at them (probably something totally stellar, like, "Come get me, you assholes!"), and the flock started looking severely agitated and almost boiling with energy. Weirdly enough, the birds seemed to start almost melting together, merging into this weird almost digital-looking sphere-ish shape with white and purple 8-bit triangle patterns on it, that didn't really keep its shape very well but came flying over the water towards me.
Batter up! I swung my broom right into it as it arrived and... the broom kinda got stuck in it, like the thing was sticky. Trying to pull it out just made it suck in further... and then somehow the whole thing transformed into a short gay fashion-designer guy in a black suit and trendy short black haircut. He said he was sorry for the trouble and that things had been taken care of. So... I walked back towards the nearby house with him (that was apparently mine) and offered for him to come in and have drinks.
Then I woke up.
