sanity is relative

Dream logic was shaky at best in this one and I've already forgotten most of it, but the general idea was that I was part of a scientific team manning a base on Mars. We were mostly scientists, and there were only a few combat-trained security guards in the complex.

At some point one of the guards died, and I can't remember what evidence I had but I blamed aliens. Everyone else said those don't exist. Later on when a few more people had died, I remember standing in a hallway with another scientist and they were saying how badly the social dynamic was messed up at the complex, because they're like, "I don't know most of the people's names here!" and I'm like, "Yeah, same."

By the time it was really obvious the aliens were present and coming for us, the last eight or so people were pushed back into what looked like a hotel room with a wall-sized window opposite the entry door, and some kind of exit door in that window-wall. The idea was, we were going to escape that part of the complex through that exit door. I had a backpack that I got bogged down into trying to stock with useful things, like a blanket because Mars is cold at night and I was worried life-support systems might partially fail, and a box of tissues because... dream logic.

The last bit I remember was being in some kind of transportation device that looked like marbles on tracks, and one person could fit in each one of the marble-shaped vehicles. The survivors were using this system to get to a large building in the complex that I don't remember having been to in the entire dream, and someone said, "That's where Ripley is." And I was like, "Why haven't we been there the whole time!?"

I don't remember why, but I had some reason to take my marble off-course before reaching the building, and ended up crashing it into a small crater. I think at that point my brain completely lost track of the setting and plot, and I eventually woke up.

(This dream comes off best when written from the point of view of the dream character that I lived through for the following surreality. So yeah, enjoy the psychoticness lol.)


I am a girl, a child of 10 or 12 and my mind is a mess. I'm in a house. Or... a school? Both maybe. I think I killed someone. A teacher. They were being mean to a student. I don't know why I killed them... it's not my fault! Something inside me made me do it. But I do feel happy that they died. And I know I'm going to get in big trouble, the police are coming.

I run up through the house until I find a way into the attic and onto the roof. I hide there while the police look around the house. They can't find me... one stays behind just in case I show up again. Time passes, I don't remember what I did, did I just lay here on the roof? It's dark now. The cop is still in the house. I jump off the roof and run down the sidewalk. I stop running and walk so I'm less noticeable. Someone might still think it's weird a girl is walking alone at night, even though this seems like a nice neighborhood.

I realize something. I... I can fly! I know this! I don't know how I know this or why I can fly but suddenly I don't care anymore. I fly upwards into the night sky oh so fast and light. And I know something else now... I'm invincible. I think. I know I can fly through outer space though and it won't hurt me. I can even breathe just fine. I'm so happy, I fly through space past planets and then... then I know that I know my way home. Yes, I'm going home. I know it's out there, I have a home! I know nothing about it except where it is. I fly towards it.

The planet is a shifting mass of lava and cooling crust that bursts here and there from the swirling volcanic action underneath. I'm afraid... what happened to my home? Something horrible... and I'm afraid I'm not quite tough enough to go down there. It will hurt and I'll die. I get a little closer, trying to see if there is any place on the surface that has survived. Yes, there's somewhere... it looks okay, there are just some active volcanoes in the distance. I'll go down there and see if I can find anyone. Find out anything about my home and did I have a family here?

I touch down in a large meandering garden. There are two people here, they are dressed simply in white clothing that looks almost medieval-peasant-like, with hoods over their hair. I walk slowly towards them, I don't want to scare them, they have probably been through a lot and just now they saw me fly down out of the sky. Are they scared of me? They are looking at me. I ask them who they are and what happened here, what happened to my home? They don't say anything, they just look at me and they're looking at each other in quick glances. Do they not understand me? Do they speak some other language here? Wait... something doesn't feel right...

Then something happens, I don't know what happened, my mind hurts. There are a lot of these people all around me and I can't run, I'm so weak. Did they do something to me? Shoot me with something? I... I...... I realize too late I should not have come back here. They... they are bad. I don't remember why, but I know that now as I enter dark unconsciousness.

I wake up. I'm in a hallway under guard. There's a room nearby with glass doors and someone is inside but I can't see who because the room is filled with steam. My brain is fighting to get a hold on thoughts that fly past. This is familiar... this is familiar? I've been here. The steam-filled room doors open and a girl comes out wearing nothing. It's my turn now, says the guards. Time for my shower.

I'm in the shower now and have no clothes on. This doesn't really bother me because it's familiar. Something in my mind says I know this all too well. This is normal. But I'm afraid. As the water turns on, the guard in the control room makes it too hot. He's doing this on purpose. They do that sometimes. I... remember... I... it's so hot it hurts. I... remember it was always like this... someone would be unlucky... and they'd just take it. It was life.

No! I'm not going to let this happen. I'm going to fight! I don't even know for sure if I can, this room should be sealed so that someone like me can't get out. But I see metal things on the wall behind the shower heads. I'm strong, I can do this! I pull them out, I don't even know if this will do any good but I pull all the metal things out. Some are just some sort of metal button, a rivet maybe, and some have long metal wires attached to the back that come out as I pull. There are a couple small metal plates above this, I pull them off too. I know the guard room must be going crazy, I don't have much time before they come make me stop. I'm surprised they're not here yet, in fact.

Behind where the metal plates were are two smaller metal things that shock me a little when I touch them. I take some of the metal things I pulled out of the walls and touch them to the current. I can feel it going through my body, it's a little bit painful but more annoying than anything. I look behind me to see the glass doors opening very slowly.

I don't give up, I keep holding the wires until the doors are wide enough to get through. I run fast, they try to shut on me but I get through. I hear people yelling. I run out a big entryway in the hall and... I'm in what looks like an earth shopping mall? I don't have time to wonder what's going on. There is a store ahead of me across the large mall hallway but if I go in there they will surely catch me. I can't depend on luck to put a backdoor in that place. It's a dead end in my mind. I run to the right, but see guards running towards me. They look almost like earth mall security officers with blue shirts and police hats. I know I can only run, they have drugged me somehow and I can't fight or fly or anything special. I have a feeling I'm lucky I'm still able to run.

I run the other way along the mall hallway and find an intersection that branches again. I run one way but guards are coming that way too. I run the other way and there are more guards. They're going to catch me. I don't want them to hurt me. I lay down on the floor, I give up. I'm still wet and naked and I feel like I want to die. They reach me and do something that makes me very weak again and as I pass out I know that they will be watching me very carefully now. I have lost my chance to escape. They will probably even erase my memory.

I dream, my tortured mind conjures memories from before. From when I was here and knew this place as my only reality...

* * *

(At this point, the dream does a massive flashback to back when I was living in this place that had recaptured me, previous to whatever events brought me to the planet earth.)


I am standing among several rows of girls my age, and we are all wearing the same strange white or light-yellow uniforms of a simple yet futuristic cut. We are singing a song, it's a song about the company or organization that's running life for us and we're supposed to be diligently loyal to it. But some of the girls have figured out something is wrong with this setup. We're being used, brainwashed, they say. I believe it. We've made up different words to the song that are almost indistinguishable from the real ones, and we sing them extra quiet just to be sure. Oh we are such bad, subversive girls. We'll surely be punished if we're caught. But it's all we can do... right? They control all. One of them is a woman at the front of the group, she's leading us on in the song and cheering and acting like this is the greatest thing in the world. But every time we get to the word "great!" as in "such and such company is great!" those of us who know better whisper "hate!"

(At this point in the dream I had a moment of lucidity, just long enough to realize I had to get out of there, that it was very wrong and I should get the heck out as soon as possible. I lost the lucid moment but my mindset had gotten a sufficient shock to actively want me to escape, as opposed to singing subversive song lyrics.)

The song ends and it's shower time. I don't have the opportunity to run on the way into the shower, but once it is over and the shower doors open I run straight past the guard, he wasn't expecting that at all and I completely bowl him over. Ahead I see the shopping mall... wait... have I been here before? Strange, a thought that I've seen this before, but I've never... never... I think I have a memory that shouldn't be there... from the future? But the fragment is lost again and I just know I have to run. I'm wet and I have no clothes but I don't care, I run straight into the shopping mall place and across the hall into the store right in front of me. It has clothes, I thought I would take some but now realize I don't have time as I hear shouting behind me. I find a lucky backdoor and run through it.

I'm in a service passage now and then what looks like an earth Wal-Mart. How do I know that? Where's this information coming from? Yes, I know I'm getting some sort of feedback from the future now... but I keep running. I have to find some clothes, the people here don't seem to know about my escape but they'll know something is up if they see me like this. This looks like the lawn and garden section of the store. I'm looking for clothes as I sneak fast through the aisles... and then I'm wearing an oversized gardening apron. It'll work for clothing if nobody looks at me too closely.

I stop running and just stride purposefully through the place. If someone sees me they will think I'm working here or belong here, I'm on my way to do something important don't bother me. It works, nobody stops me and I see doors in the back of this place. I enter them as if I totally know what I'm doing. Here is a large shipping or storage room that's mostly empty. There are more doors in the back, large doors like a truck might pull up here. I can't get them open... I walk up a long plank to an opening to another area like the last but it's darker. Here I see more doors and there is dim light coming through the cracks underneath. It's natural light! A way out!

These doors open and I shut them behind me. It's very late evening outside, the twilight is fading even now. And I see immediately... kobolds. Kobolds like in EverQuest, the short humanoid creatures from the online Earth game (they look vaguely like werewolves if you've never seen them). These things must be some kind of last defense against the possibility of escape... I get the feeling the company probably kills them off periodically, finding them annoying but slightly useful. There are several of them here and they move towards me looking hungry.

I can't turn back. I'll die here if I must. But no, I look into their eyes and I remain calm. I stretch my hands out... one of them bites me lightly on the fingers but it decides it doesn't want to eat me. They think I am strange to be unafraid. They decide I'm their friend and they can tell I am weak and they want to take care of me. They like me. There are two now holding my hands and leading me somewhere. Away. This is fine, I will go with them. They take me down a hill and away from the evil place I never want to see again. They take me to their home, a strange set of passages and outdoor ruins of some building so long decayed that only basic foundations and the slightest hint of walls remain.

I'll stay here with the kobolds until I am strong. Until I can fly and be invincible again. Yes, I know I can be those things because... I'm not sure why. My mind, what's wrong with my mind? It's so... fragmented. I have trouble remembering five minutes ago, but I've seen things I can't possibly have experience yet... but... will? Oh, it hurts. I am just going to rest here in the kobold lair and leave when I can. I'll be safe enough here for now. The evil people will think I got eaten. They know I am weak, that I have been under the influence of their weird drugs, that I can't be my full potential until it wears off. And surely the kobolds would have had a lovely dinner of me by now. I creep a little ways into a kobold tunnel and lay down. I go to sleep.

Then I woke up.